Introductions
by Jabb3rw0cky
Summary: What happens when a vasto-lorde class hollow time-travels, mellows out, and decides to introduce themselves? This weirdness, thats what. Inspired by bella gerant alii (let others wage war) by sinequanon. Fluff
1. Ukitake

I had invited the newest subject of gosip over to my barracks when it happened. I had wished to get to know the recently revealed time traveler better, and I got far more than I bargined for on that front, thats for sure.

I don't remember what we were talking about, but I do recal the moment when cut himself off in startled confusion when Ichigo put up a finger, cocked his head, and looked like he was listening to something, then broke off into: "No, NO, **NO! WAIT!** -"

I felt a sudden pressure on by back, like something ...or someone had materialized there.

Two crooked white points came into my vision, along with a weight in my shoulder. I turned my head to try and and identify the source of the weight, only to get a facefull of orange-red hair. I jolted back at the sensation, hearing a soft *thump* as the weight must have hit the floor. I looked back at the source of the *thump*, and am not ashamed of the noise I made consequently.

I was looking at, what I will swear on my zanpakuto, was a Vasto-Lorde. It was a little larger than a human, and bone white with black tribal highlights. It also seemed to have a mane of orange-red hair around a horned mask, along with tufts of it along the wrists and ankles. The Mask was a demonic sight, a fairly humanoid shape, with a defined mouth, nose, and eyeholes, but had rows of sharp grinning teeth, and front-facing horns.

Horns, which I now realized, were just the shape of the points that had intruded in my line of sight earlier. Horns which could have skewered me in an instant.

I jumped, once again startled as a hand touched the one I had resting on the hilt of his Zanpakuto (something I hadn't even realized that I'd done). I glanced at the owner of said hand, out of instinct if nothing else. I hadn't wanted to take my eyes off of the elite hollow for even a moment, but the look on my dimension-hopping friends face made me do a double take.

Ichigo didn't even show an iota of fear in his eyes towards the hollow, barely even glancing at it. And even when he did, his face showed more of a mild amused concern and confusion rather than the full on fear and concern that was directed at me.

Before I could decipher this riddle of a reaction, he spoke up.

"Please don't freak out and attack. I can explain, but I need to do something first."

He then turned to the hollow, who was lounging on the floor like a happy cat and making a noise that was probably it's best approximation of a purr.

"Okay ya' skink, explain yourself."

The dimension hopper paused, once again appearing like he was listening to someone, and then put his face in his hands with a defeated sigh/groan.

"You meant to tell me," Ichigo tiredly continued through his hands, "that you a. Can't change back to a more human form, b. Can't speak in this form, and c. thought it was a good idea to materialise in front of someone who doesn't know you, with this all in mind?!"

He was listening again, and quirked an eyebrow in a "really? You're trying that excuse?" expression before speaking.

"No, it doesn't count if he knew you there, this Ukitake has no memories of that one"

'This Ukitake' was now thoroughly confused, but starting to relax in the slightest, if for no reason other than the fact that his subconscious felt that it needed to direct more energy to putting together and accepting the puzzle in front of him, rather than defend against a threat that was proving itself to be more of a confusion than a danger.

The hollow lolled onto it's back and opened it's mouth, showing off a blue tongue. The Lordes' paws were also shown in their full glory, black claws tipping the far-to-human hands, and feet like a raptors also ending in the deadly tips.

"Juushiro, I would have liked you to meet Shiro in a... less … surprising manner, but I suppose this will have to do." The orangette sighed once again. "Anyways, Juushiro Ukitake, meet Shirosaki… Shiba, I guess? Anyways, he's my inner hollow." There was a definite stress on the word "inner". In response to this, the hollow- Shiro, I supposed, -stuck out his cobalt tongue, rolled onto his paws, and pounced at Ichigo.

I gave a start, and almost attacked. I restrained myself however, at the strange sight before me. (well, the entire sequence of events leading up to this was also as bizarre as anything, but so far this was the crowning moment of What The F-?!).

The hol- Shirosaki-, he reminded himself, was now lying on **top** of Ichigo, radiating the air of a smug cat (the tip of his tail was twitching like one too, I absentmindedly noted), and Ichigo just seemed mildly annoyed at the fact that a creature that could rip his throat in less than a heartbeat was right next to both.

When Shiro then started licking Ichigo's face, that was when the captain just gave up trying to understand what was happening, and sat down.


	2. Roommates

Knowing that your roommate is a dimension hopper is one thing. Having a vasto-lorde break into your room and hide under the bed is another beast entirely.

It burst through the door with a *BANG!*, bowled into his orange haired roommate, and then proceeded to drag him under the bed.

To say that I was majorly startled and greatly confused would be an understatement, to say the least. What just happened? I was about to draw my zanpakuto when I heard a tired, resigned voice come from under the bed.

"What did you do _this_ time Shiro?"

There was a pause, a bizarre yowl like a cat possessed by a demon, and my roommate crawled out from underneath the bed. He dusted himself off, and reached a hand down beneath the bed, seemingly offering the beast a hand up.

"I get it, really. I couldn't _not_ get it if I _tried._ "

Another yowl, followed by a fusion growl/whine, and a clawed hand?... paw? emerged from the darkness beneath the bed. Ichigo caught it, and slowly dragged the hollow out from under the bed.

Everything about this left me dumbstruck. Why was there a hollow in our room? How did it fit under the bed? Were those claws leaving furrows in our floor? And… was that… a _VASTO-LORDE!?_

"Now come on, you know that there's nothing to fear from Hat-N'-Clogs. Not here at least. You know he say the video crystal."

I was so lost I think that it looped back into found… only to be lead astray, then back on track, only to be lost again.

The hollow, now standing at full height that almost brushed our ceiling, made a *chuff* noise. It then rushed my dimension hopping roommate, enveloping him in what I _think_ was a hug.

Ichigo gave the hollow a few awkward pats on the back, looking nearly as embarrassed as I was confused. We made eye contact, then he turned to the hollow, then back to me, rolling his eyes with a slight smile as if to say "What can you do?". This touching moment of madness was soon cut short though, as a certain someone broke in.

The captain of the 12th was in a veritable frenzy, eyes shining with a chaotic glee as he tore straight for my roommate.

"Hey, have you seen a hollow run through here? Pretty small, white, front facing horns, red mane, vasto-lorde class? Gorgeous specimen."

I looked over my shoulder, surely he must have seen…

Ichigo was on his stomach, on the floor, looking under the bed. He seemed to be trying to coax it out. If this keeps up, I may have to invest in a rug.

"Come on out, he's not..."

Ichigo trailed off, turning to look over his shoulder at Urahara.

"I see."

"You see what?"

The captain was suddenly lying on the floor right next to my roommate. I didn't see him move, and apparently neither had Ichigo. I'm pretty sure that Urahara was almost eviscerated for this small lapse in judgement. The first thing that you learned when bunking with Ichigo is that you do **not** not surprise him.

"What are you doing?" the orange haired man death g-d asked, sounding like someone asking a particularly dumb dog why it was trying to chew the wall again. Exasperated, affectionate, and not much of an answer.

"I'm just trying to see things from your point of view!"

Ichigo gave the blonde the most flat look I think I've ever seen on anyone, putting even Juushiro's to shame.

"Then back up. I'm trying to calm him down."

"Calm who down?"

"Back off and you might see."

The blond must have detected the undertone of aggravation in Ichigo's voice, as the captain shot up like someone formed a cero under him. Ichigo turned back to the space under the bed, attempting to placate the Vasto-lorde beneath it- why is this my life?

I mean, just having Ichigo as a roommate was odd. One day this person just shows up, claims to be and is adopted by the Shibas, and is thrown in as my roommate. The looks he gave people and the reactions he had to certain things were strange, but manageable. Then he was ousted as a traveler from another dimension, and things simultaneously made a lot more sense and no sense at all. And now this, this… this:

"Everyone's a bit… more… around here, remember? He's not going to- okay, okay, I'll make sure"

"Now," Ichigo got up, turning to the scientist, suddenly appearing more dangerous than Unohana, "why, pray tell, was Shiro so utterly _terrified_ of you?"

Urahara suddenly looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. I didn't blame him. I was just getting the collateral effects, and was having a hard time not fleeing in terror.

"The last person he reacted like that to was..."

The dimension hoppers gaze snapped to the door for a moment, before returning to the blonde nearly cowering in front of him. There was a fire in his features that hadn't been there before, rage just begging to be set loose on _something._ But not, I realized, the captain, or even himself… something else.

"Kurotuchi..."

I'm not sure if I'd ever heard so much hate fill a name before. Ichigo seemed to some to a realization, and slowly turned back to the scientist, pining beneath his gaze.

"You sounded like Kurotsuchi."

And I was lost again. And judging from the look on Urahara's face, I wasn't alone. Thankfully for the both of us though, this time there was some clarification. Apparently Ichigo had noticed the look of total confusion on the face of the person in front of him, and calmed a bit to explain.

"He was the one who took your post back… there. As bad as you were, he was worse. He tried to experiment on me, my family, and almost killed Shiro trying to take a sample. I hope he's happy with that tooth… it's the only part of a face he has."

He gave the blonde in front of him a severe stare.

"I had heard about what he'd done to the Quincy before that… that mask-cracker wouldn't even have a head."

The undertone of "If you touch _anyone_ that I hold dear, expect to die" was left unsaid, but clear as day.

"... don't remove him from the maggots nest. I may just have to disembowel someone if you do."

There was an almost audible gulp from the captain of the twelfth.

"Noted."

"Good. Now," The pressure lifted, "I should formally introduce the two of you. It'll prevent any more… misunderstandings. Oh, hello there! Look who decided to come out."

I think that I may be the first person to ever see someone treating a vasto-lorde surprising them from behind like their cat approaching them.

As if to cement this thought further, the hollow gave a gently, but very animal-like, chuff, seemingly gently admonishing my roommate for making light of him.

"Urahara, this is Shiro. He's the hollow that you were, *hem* made aware of."

… well, that's _some_ kind of clarification. I guess. Sort of. Okay, _what_ _is an_ _inner_ _hollow?!_

Apparently I was the only one with this question, as Urahara's mood went from unsure to delighted in the span of a blink.

"Oh, so _this_ it the inner hollow that the other me was talking about. In that case, nice to meet you!"

'Shiro' seemed unsure, hesitating before shaking the Captain's outstretched hand. I wondered how he avoided slashing the captain's hands with those claws.

Ichigo straightened suddenly, swinging his head to look his hollow directly in the eyes. He seemed surprised about something.

"Are you sure?"

The hollow nodded.

Ichigo turned to the blonde, glancing back to the the hollow for a moment before he adressed the captain.

"Wow, apparently as a sign of goodwill Shiro is willing to let you have a little chip of mask."

"Are you sure?"

"It heals."

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! A sample from an extra-dimensional inner hollow! There are so many things that could be done with this!... if only I had a control sample for one or the other…!"

Considering the look on Urahara's face I couldn't blame either of them for hiding under the bed again. Honestly, I was considering joining them.

* * *

If any of you are wondering why Ichigo is so furious, Shiro is one of the few members of his original family that he has left (the other being Zangetsu)


	3. Dad

My son from another dimension (and isn't that whole situation a doozy) had given me a debriefing on everything.

It still made the Vasto-Lorde curled up in my chair no less stupefying.

"Well… actually it does ." My brain happily reminded me after a solid minute of staring at the dozing beast.

Alright, fine. It does, technically. I guess.

Still, the whole situation there was completely mind boggling, so I suppose this is just going to have to be par for the course. *Sigh* things are going to be weird around here. I took a moment, reflecting on Shiba's and the general Seireitei. Okay then, fine. Weird er around here.

Nonetheless, I wanted my seat back. I had a ton of paperwork that needed to be done by tomorrow, and that seat was the only one that didn't make me want to scream after a few hours sitting. But if I don't go about this right it might just be the only seat that will make me scream before even sitting in it.

What did Ichigo say about Shiro again? Don't attack him, don't startle him, don't get between them, don't pet him back to front, don't wake him up. Dang. Well, maybe if I just…

As it turns out, trying to pick up a vasto-lorde like a big cat is a somehow more dangerous than picking up an actual cat.

I was flat on my back before I even knew what had happened. It all happened so fast. There was no warning, no malice, just boom. And I was trapped beneath two hundred pounds of scales, claws, teeth, fur, and instinct.

I could only stare into feral eyes, completely dazed by the suddenness of it all.

"*Snort* I see you've found a new pillow."

I was snapped out of the strange eye-hypnosis of the creature on top of me with a start. I had been so out of it (understandably) that I hadn't even noticed that a certain orange-haired man had taken my seat. The hollow have a small "MNr" at the jolt, but soon settled on it's seat again.

"Comfortable?" He asked, a tiny bit of slightly smug amusement creeping into his tone.

"Me or him?" I snarked back.

"Yes."

Before I could even process the sheer cheek of that answer the hollow shifted. It flopped onto its side, this time curling at an angle rather than straight over me. Those horns were now in my right field of vision while a tail poked at my left. A solid body, tribal markings, and massive paws filled the center stage. It wriggled for a bit before settling again, letting out a soft snort and a quiet "keei..."

"No, I'm goo- no I will no- I don't ca- you know I can't smell- stop. I'm fine right where I am."

He obviously wasn't talking to me … I'd been told about this sort of thing. About who he's listening to. Only two options: try and get him to get this thing off of me! or...

"Lover's spat?" I teased.

He gave me such a dry look that I think Nejibana might have just died.

"Really?"

"I'm not hearing a 'no'."

"No. It's like shinigami and their zanpakuto. We agree, we argue. It's just part of being us. And we've both gotten better."

I took a moment to absorb his words. There were only so many ways to respond to something like that...

"And would you argue about jumping on a man who's just trying to get to their seat to do paperwork."

"Actually, I would have done the same thing."

My face must not have conveyed the " what?" that I was feeling.

"You know, you should actually consider yourself lucky though. The list of people who can wake Shiro up without being promptly mauled is very short."

"You're only on it because your reiatsu is identical to your counterparts. He would wake me up every morning trying to kick me out of bed." He gave a wistful sigh and looked down. "You never know what you have until it's gone."

It was a stab to the gut. Of course he didn't see me as true family. Why would it be any other way?

"But we always have the memories. S'ppose that's why you're on the floor," His lip quirked up into the barest hint of a smile. Or maybe it was a smirk. Or maybe I was hallucinating due to the pressure on my chest. "You're reiatsu is associated with sneak attacks. Especially of the wake-you-up variety."

He leaned back in the seat, sighing and looking at the ceiling.

"Probably why Shiro doesn't want to get off of you. He's worried that you'll just keep coming."

"Is that why he wanted you to join him? To pin me down?" I asked, half joking. I was hoping to lighten the mood, but you never know with a hollow, especially this hollow. Or Ichigo come to think of it. Ah, scratch that, you never know with either of these two!

"No, he just thought that I might find your smell as comforting as he does." He replied, a sliver of either amusement or nostalgia creeping into his tone. Possibly both… or neither, it was still possible that I was hallucinating to some extent. After all, his tone usually changes about as much as Shiro's expressions.

Ichigo stood and stretched. He began walking out of the room, still speaking as he did so.

"You're not him, you're you. Be you. I'll warm up to you soon."

As his voice faded I could swear I heard him say "I seems I already have."

I had a bit to think about.

…and paperwork to do… and Shiro was still on top of me!

I tried to push him off again. And once again the attempt was fruitless. I might as well have been trying to push down the outer wall. I could only lie there hoping that Shiro would get bored and get up or that someone would come along and-!

"Kaien! Help me!"

He took one look at me, one at Shiro, one at the drink in hand, and slowly backed out of the room without a word.

7/7/17


	4. The Party Part 1

It was supposed to be a semi-formal get together, a way to let the newbie meet his new squadmates at his own leasure. The dress code was set, catering was taken care of courtesy of a called in favor, and the guest list was set in such a way as to allow for anyone to bring a plus one. Considering this, it was expected that there would be a few unfamiliar faces; not from the the squad. Perhaps a lieutenant would show up, maybe even dragging their captain into it. Small talk and non-invasive questions were expected, maybe even a friendly fight or two.

What was not expected was the vasto lorde.

The party had been doing fine. People were socializing, the catering came through, Shunsui was drunk (as per usual), and most importantly, the time traveler had seemed to be coming out of his shell (maybe?).

Then, the newbie froze. We all exchanged confused and nervous looks with each other, we had all hear rumors of what happened when he started to listen when no one else could hear. Of who, or rather what, he was listening too (although, if some of the _other_ rumor were to be believed, it was both a who _and_ a what) But none of us could be certain.I'm pretty sure that some didn't even _want_ to be certain.

The orangette gave a resigned sigh, put a hand over his eyes. We exchanged puzzled looks once again. He then removed his hand, looked at us and excused himself for a moment. As he parted the crowd on the way to the doors, I would swear that this party was turning into a puzzled look swap meet.

The swap meet soon ended however, as people caught a sight of our newest guest.

Or, rather, people were made aware that others had noticed someone at the door. Those closest to the entrance had all frozen in surprise it seemed, which drew attention towards them, along with the target of their fright.

As it was, my eye was caught just too late. I only managed to catch a glimpse of something white and red as it whipped out of sight. Or maybe it was white and black… I'm not sure, but whatever it was, it was a decent size, and _fast._

Someone coughed, the starting pistol for gossip's race around the room. This time though, voices were low, conspiratorial, like people were wary of some unseen intruder was eavesdropping.

"Did you see that?"

"I only caught a glimpse."

"Same here."

"I didn't have a clear view myself, but it looked white to me."

"Same here. But, weren't there markings? Y'know? Black ones?"

"Looked red to me."

"Hey guys. I'm back."

I almost jumped, you never knew Ichigo was there until he said something. It always managed to startle me.

"Where were you?"

"Did you see it?"

"I was just over at the door. And see what?"

"So you _must have_ seen it! What did it look like?"

"Once again, see what?"

"That white thing at the door. What was it?"

He seemed almost relieved at the clarification. We all leaned in closer as he opened his mouth, eager for the juicy details.

"Oh, that was just Shiro."

I could almost hear everyone's simultaneous mental cry of "What?" It seemed like he could _actually_ hear it though, as his explanation was simultaneously unprompted and reluctant.

"*Sigh* He wanted help with his tie."

Well… that was absolutely no help whatsoever.

The man next to me -Mako, if I remember correctly- raised his hand as though he were still in school.

"Yes?" Ichigo responded, tone three parts amusement and one part concerned confusion.

"Who's Shiro!?"

Rather than responding verbally, Ichigo merely pointed at the ceiling.


	5. The Party part 2

It was upside down, clutching the support beams like some sort of animal. It was undoubtedly the white thing thing from the door, and now that I had a clear view I could see why people were so disturbed.

It was like some demented hybrid of a human and lizard, with a bit of demon thrown in there for good measure. It was close enough to make out black and red markings around its limbs, along with claws tipping uncannily human-like hands. The tail was thick, lizard like, and ended in the same markings as the body. Fur encircled each wrist in a tuft of angry red, and a mane of the same fur sprung from under the back of its mask. It's mask was almost like that of a skull, terrifying enough as is, but of course it also had to have large horns curving forward like some sort of nightmarish bull.

And it was wearing a Yukata and Hakama.

"My plus one."

This time I _did_ jump, I had forgotten the orange-head was there.

You would have to forgive me for that one, but VASTO-LORDE!

I reflexively looked at the speaker, instantly regretting taking my eyes off the beast on the ceiling. I wasn't the only one, a few couldn't tear their gazes away. Those of us who could stared at the dimension-hopping enigma, faces all depicting some mix of bewilderment and horror. Others were still transfixed by the creature on the ceiling.

That was, of course, until the creature was no longer on the ceiling.

It let go of the beam that was supporting it, almost launching itself at the ground. It twisted in the air, a cat maneuvering to land on it's feet. Someone screamed, and everyone's attention that hadn't been grabbed by the movement before now looked around for the source of the commotion. (Well, almost everyone. There was a small group of squad two folks who must have been _really_ into their conversation, because those guys didn't even look up. Huh, apparently spies and assassins like to gossip. Who knew?)

Ow. Honestly didn't know who screamed either, just the reason why and that they were probably standing right next to me. Ow.

I opened my eyes, having screwed them shut instinctively at the shriek, and… nevermind. And nevermind. The scream from before wasn't an "ow". Having a Vasto-lorde drop from the ceiling and land your head like some sort of hat going through a _serious_ identity crisis is "ow". Especially with the claws on that thing, _yow-ch._

Except…

He seemed rather unaffected said claws digging into him, even though they were apparently sharp enough to dig into wood with ease and strong enough to hold the creature's weight.

Honestly, if this keeps up I might just stop being able to be surprised… Actually that's probably a good idea right now. Ability to be freaked out is now off!

"Is this going to be a thing with you?"

The hollow made a *chuffing* noise that I could only describe as mischievous and nightmarish.

"You know what I mean."

None of us could move. It was all just so entrancing, yet terrifying and bizarre at the same time. Sort of like that one time Mako tried to dance*.

"What do you want ya' stupid."

And now he's up, talking to a vasto-lorde that just landed on his head, like it's his little brother**. Not to mention that said hollow has now decided that it is no longer a hat with an identity crisis. Now it is apparently a _scarf_ with identity issues.

what.

… and now freak out mode is back on. Damn it!

Well, that didn't last long. Now what's going on outside my hea-! Woah! People had apparently snapped out of their stunned state since I had retreated into my mind (roughly .8 seconds), since I was the only one here with my blade not drawn.

"Guys, calm down. He's not going to do anything."

Correction, the only one besides Ichigo with my zanpakuto not drawn.

"What's all this fuss abou-! Oh, hello Ichigo, Shiro."

Alright, scratch that last one too, the only one besides Ichigo _and_ _Isshin_ with my zanpakuto not drawn.

"Having a bit of a tough time socializing, are we?"

"Would you just stop. I need help getting him off of me, stupid instincts won't let go. And- you're really bulky, you know that? I don't care how light- just get off."

It was almost like Ichigo changed targets for his sentence in the middle of it. But no one else said anything. Who was he talking to?… unless...

"It's alright peoples, this guy's okay."

I was snapped out of my train of thought before it could really get anywhere, Isshin had used his "announcing" voice. It was no louder than any other voice of his, but when he talked like that, you listened.

… and he told us that a vasto-lorde was "okay"... and used the word "peoples". Is this some kind of prank?

Prank or not, most folks sheathed their blades. Tension that I wasn't aware of until it left ran out of Ichigo -and bizarrely enough the hollow's- bodies. Isshin then grabbed it under the arms and dragged it off of the orange-head's shoulders.

"Everyone, this is Shiro. Shiro, this is everyone."

It gave a small, sheepish wave.

… okay then… I didn't even know a hollow _could_ look sheepish.

"Well," Isshin gave his most winning smile, "is this a party or isn't it? Go on, socialize! Have a good time! If you need us for anything we'll be right here. Fluffball included."

Okay, stop. There was definitely something that needed to be explained here.

" _Fluffball?!_ "

That winning smile became a sh*t-eating grin in record time***.

"Have you ever seen a hollow with fur?"

I, and a couple of other guests nodded. It wasn't _that_ uncommon.

His grin somehow grew even more, this time with some smirk added in for good measure.

"Have you ever seen one get startled?"

* * *

* Turns out that his parents more named him for a shark's ability to move on land rather than their ferocity as he so claimed. Repress the memories, repress the memories!

**Shibas

*** and considering Isshin, that's saying something


	6. Shinji

The Shiba estate was rather… different from the other noble estates I decided. More scorch marks for one thing. And the people tended to be a bit… warmer. Friendlier. Less cold. Not as much stick-up-the-arse syndrome.

It was especially evident when you accidentally walk straight into someone while being distracted by an especially large crater. (I know that they specialize in explosives, but _damn_...)

"*Oof* Heya Shinji, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, heya Isshin. Sorry. Wasn't lookin where I was goin'. I'm lookin' fer yer cousin. 'Ee's been wantin' ta' see me fer some reason."

"Oh, he's upstairs." He gestured to a stone-brick building to my left, behind the crater, "I'd tell you, but I have no idea why he'd want to see you either. Didn't he, you know, flee in terror the last time he saw you?"

"Sort of. Still not entirely sure why though. How did ya' hear about that anyways?"

"Gossip." He waved my question off, before continuing "I'd be willing to bet nearly anything that it has to do with some alternate experiences, if you catch my drift."

I shrugged. I had seen the crystal. All the captains had. It had brought quite a bit of clarity to certain behaviors of the adopted-not adopted Shiba. I knew a bit about my alternate reality double, that he had helped Ichigo with a problem that, that he had been one of the few who had been not only an ally, but also a friend.

And that alternate me had been killed.

Nonetheless, Ichigo wanted to see me.

"Probably. Anyways, I best be off. Thank ye' for the directions."

As I started to head to the indicated building Isshin called out behind me,

"Now might not be the best time though!"

I shook my head. If Ichigo specifically called to see me, someone who made him see ghosts, then is must be important.

The building seemed fairly normal from the outside. For the Shiba estate at least. Large stone slabs stacked into brickwork walls, sturdy doors, a few dozen scorch marks from wayward kido, three small craters that were small enough (by Shiba standard) not to warrant fixing, claw marks…

Okay, that last one wasn't their kind of weird. I'd expect it maybe out of the Shihouins, those crazy cats love marking their turf like that I've heard. But here, those marks were out of place. Maybe some kind of prank or...?

I soon dismissed the thought. No, not by the Shihouins. Claws like a Shihouin's aren't built of cutting into stone like this. (Flesh, yes. I can attest to that. Stone like this, no.)

But, nothing had been reported and apparently gossip spreads pretty far, so if something had attack I'd have heard about it by now. Still, I had been invited, and nothing had attacked so…

It was still distracting though. I couldn't help but wonder what would be strong enough to leave claw marks in walls built to withstand cannon blasts. The interior was much the same. I must have walked by dozens of scratches (These ones were both more and less troubling, as the walls inside were "only" meant to withstand kido misfires rather than cannon ones. But at the same time _inside!_ )

And the farther I went the more frequent they were, the denser they clustered, the deeper they sliced the stone.

The door I was looking for was _covered_ with them.

"Almost more scratch than door." I nervously joked, mostly to try and calm myself but partially to let him know I was there.

"Shinji? Is that you?"

"Yep! Can I come in?"

"Wait! uh, nevermind. Just, don't panic. Everything's under control."

"What's 'under control'? Whaddya need me f-!"

Most of the room was normal. Pale walls, cozy rug, nice cushions on the floor. That was normal. What _wasn't normal_ was the hollow laying across Ichigo's lap. (At least, I don't _think_ that's normal. It's certainly not around the general seireitei, but who knows with the Shibas. {or, more specifically, _this_ Shiba.})

I blinked, rubbing my eyes. Huh. Still there. Whelp, he did say not to panic, so why not? There were still a couple o' things that needed answers though, the first of which being:

"So why'd ya invite me over?"

The orangette glanced off to the side and curled his hands into loose fists for a moment before answering.

"I know it's sort of an awkward request but, how do I ask this, I'd like a lock of your hair."

"Uh..."

"It doesn't have to be hair if that's too weird."

Luckily my face must have show the kind of thoughts running through my head, as I'm not sure that my voice would have been able to actually convey the sheer amounts of confusion and concern necessary. What?

"It's just that this guy," he patted the monstrous creature sprawled across his lap, "wants something that smells like home. And you, or rather, a version of you, are part of that scent. Jeez, I'm gonna have to do this crap six more times..." he trailed off at the end.

"Uh…"

Once again, really glad for facial expressions.

"Like I said, it doesn't have to be hair. Just something small and disposable that has your scent."

"Why..."

"Like I said, Shiro want's something that smells like family. Apparently his sense of smell is stronger and he finds it comforting when I'm not around. Which isn't as often as _someone_ would like me to think. Don't think I don't know you keep sneaking out and following me."

I think that last bit was aimed at the hollow. I'm not sure if I want to be right about that. Wait, FAMILY!?

"Thats- family- what?!"

Ichigo averted his eyes, not able to meet my gaze for one reason or another.

While the man couldn't bare to look at me, the creature in his lap (or if we're being honest here: lap, chair, and part of the floor) had no such reservations. It was staring at me with great intensity. Like it was trying to pin me with it's eyes. Like it wanted to make sure that I wouldn't move. Stupid, useless hindbrain freezing up in the stare of a predator. You're giving it exactly what it wants!

… Although I'm not entirely sure whether or not that's a bad thing...

Okay, deep breaths. A friendly vasto-lorde from another dimension fancies you as a part of it's family. No big deal.

Ach, screw being calm, _WHAT?!_

I took a deep breath, clearing my mind and composing myself. I reached down into my mindscape, there must be a logical explanation here… maybe… you coming up with anything Sakanade?

" _I am having a small bit of trouble. Also, please don't start fretting like that again, one dust devil was bad enough."_

"Then what should I do?"

" _... perhaps not leave your friend wondering what's going on?"_

Oh. Crap.

I snapped myself out of my mind, my eyes meeting the sight of the previously discussed duo observing me. Sensing the approaching awkwardness, I did the only thing that came to mind.

"Time out"

Pun.

The hollow looked at me, then over it's shoulder to meet Ichigo's eyes. They stared at eachother for a moment. Then, Ichigo snapped his gaze right back to me, nostalgic amusement lightly painting his features now.

"Alright then, time out."

.

.

.

 _Awkward_...

Not exactly helping Sakanade!

Much to my relief though, I didn't have to restart the conversation.

"What now?"

The good thing about awkward silences is that they are an excellent time for figuring out what you want to say, so...

"Ya want a smell? "Ere ya go mr. White."

I took off my shirt and hung it on the arm of the chair. Ichigo looked at me with a raised eyebrow, but said nothing for a solid few seconds, then...

"Mr. White?"

I smirked.

"E's called Shiro, isn't e'?"

"...I suppose so."

Ichigo regarded the beast draped over him.

"We'll have to add that one to the list."

His only response was a soft snort and the hollow rolling over to paw at the dimension-hoppers face. Considering that one paw was roughly the size of a face, I decided that the best course of action was to leave them to it.

Yep. The Shiba estate was definitely weird.*

* * *

*nobody commented that he was shirtless until he left the compound


	7. Kitten

Run, keep running. Can't stop, it'll catch me. Then… *gulp*

Grass bent beneath my heels as I jumped a ditch, the soft thuds of steps painfully loud in comparison to the silence of the creature behind me. I wouldn't have even known, it was so quiet, but thankfully it's pressure tipped me off before it could catch me completely off guard.

And as I ran, so did my thoughts.

If I couldn't even stand up to an unseated 5th division, what hope would I have against this thing?

My feet pounded the pavement, I vaulted a small crater.

I should never have cut through the compound. I should have listened to the rumors*. I should have... have…

I should have focused on where I was going.

My feet came down next to an especially large crater. It must have been fresh, though as the soil was still loose from the disturbance. I was tumbling head over heels down the side, crashing to a halt against the steep side of the hole.

As the stars left my vision a sense of dread began to pool in my stomach. The crater I was in wasn't just big, it was irregular. The projectile must have come in at an angle, as one side was far steeper than the other. I was backed into a corner.

A shadow fell on me.

It had arrived.

I pressed myself against the heat-blasted earth behind me. Maybe if I don't move it won't notice...

That measly hope was shredded as it stalked down the flatter side of the crater, eyes locked on me. Claws like knives dug into the soil as it approached. My head whipped around frenetically, frantic for any escape routes. Any options not ending in claws and horns. But there was nothing.

As it approached I realized that it "only" came up to my mid-chest**. Then it reared up on it's hind legs, I could only think:

Oh.

And then:

Please, please, please don't eat me, please don't eat me, please don't eat me…

I couldn't even look my killer in the face, my eyes refused to go past those horns.

As it opened it's mouth and lunged I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't bear to watch those teeth close on my throat.

But the end never came.

No blood, no pain, just pressure on my chest and a tugging on my clothing.

Then, I wasn't even touching the ground. I swayed a bit and reflexively opened my eyes -catching a glimpse of white and red- flailing for a moment before curling up and squeezing them shut again.

What was happening? What was it doing with me? Am I still going to die?

I could feel my carrier pick up speed, going from a slight swaying to a fuller bouncing. I curled up even smaller. Where was I going? Is it dragging me off to it's lair?

Then, we slowed. The sound of the steps changed, the softer padding of the earth turning into more of a hard thud-tink. I could feel us going up some incline for a short while and make a few turns before we fully stopped.

I was dropped without warning, and given even less before something pinned me beneath its bulk.

Where are we? What is pinning me? Could it… but wouldn't it just eat me?... but, the thing on me was both furry and scaly, and it had been so _close_... Finally, I couldn't take the questions any more and managed to pry my eyes open.

Only to immediately shut them at the blinding brightness of my new location.

I took a breath. Not some dark cave then. And, I noted absently, I was lying on a rug. I was pretty sure that hollows didn't furnish with rugs.

Having learned my lesson, I squinted a bit before fully taking in my situation.

I was… in a house? There wasn't really much to see from where I was, just a corner to my left with a small table and a plant, and to my direct right was the back of a chair. And framing my vision on either side were two MASSIVE paws.

Filled with trepidation, I twisted my neck and looked up.

Just in time to catch a glimpse massive teeth and a faceful of thick tongue.

The tongue was a bit rough, like a cat's, but thankfully dry enough.

"Well that's new."

I would've jumped if I could, but as I was only gave a jolt. The beast gave a small snort at the sudden movement, but otherwise just continued to lick at my hair.

I managed to shake the hair out of my face to see a man peering around the chair. He seemed more perplexed, or perhaps amused than scared. A good sign… I think.

"Um, sir? Could-"

"It's Ichigo, and you are?"

"Uh… Ha-Hanatoro, sir."

"And I see that you're already acquainted with Shiro"

He nodded towards the beast above me.

"Could you, perhaps... maybe... help... me, please?"

"Mn… sorry. It seems like there's nothing I can do."

My devastation was evident, I didn't even try to hide it. He got up to stand before me.

"Hey, don't be like that. You're fine."

"Wh-What?"

A small smile crept across his features, more of a smirk than anything else.

"You're small, and weak, and look young,"

Yes… weak. Not even worth the time. Apparently even the hollows think so...

"He seems to be under the impression that you're a cub."

…that's really not where I thought he was going with that. A cub?

"A cub?" I echoed.

"A cub, a pup, a youngling," He grinned, "a child."

He squatted in front of me.

"Someone who's a bite-sized young'un now, but with the potential for great growth."

I turned my eyes up to the masked visage crouching over me, finally able to look into the hollow's eyes. It gets much easier when you're _not_ positive that you're looking into the face (or mask) of your killer.

Shiro stared right back at me, amusement in his eyes and what I could only think of as a… I think the others called it a shit-eating grin imbedded in his mask... or maybe it was more affectionate. Does it even really change?

"So… he's _not_ going to eat me?"

The responding "Nope!" was almost startlingly cheerful.

At that, he got up and left the room, calling out, "He's probably gonna groom ya though!"

That was… reassuring. Maybe.

.

.

.

He still wouldn't get off. Hey, was that Kaien?

"Kaien! Kaien! Help! Please!"

He looked at me, at the hollow, then backed slowly out of the room.

I think he was muttering something about drugged drinks, but I can't be sure.

* * *

*The rumor of the Shiba hollow. Or monster depending on who you ask. (or cousin, but we're not sure how sane _that_ guy is)

**Lower chest-waist height on an average sized person


	8. The Newsletter

Yamamoto was getting too old for this. (Actually, no he wasn't, but you know what I mean)

This was the third complaint this week about the hollow. He knew why they were worried, don't get him wrong. The first time he met the Shiba's resident hollow he hadn't exactly been the calmest person…

"Kurosaki, am I going blind in my age?"

"I do not believe so, sir."

"Then have I gone senile?"

"No, sir."

"Then will you tell me, what in the name of hellfire is a hollow doing on your lap?!"

The dimension traveler stared at me for a moment, then looked down at the hollow.

"Napping, sir."

Be calm, we don't accidentally roast the child. I took a deep breath. It only sort of worked.

"I can see that! But why?!"

Another glance at the creature.

"He likes to cuddle, sir."

.

.

.

What.

"Sir, this is Shiro. He's the inner hollow you were made aware of."

"... I see."

…but this was getting annoying. Maybe he should send out a newsletter or something...

Actually… that wasn't a terrible idea… perhaps a pamphlet as well… "Akasuki!"

Akasuki poked her head in.

"Yes Head Captain?"

"Thank you, please write this down. *Ahem*"

Anyone who merely watched the ensuing dictation without dialogue would have been witness to a fairly rare and majorly confusing show. After all, one doesn't usually see those facial muscles working in tandem.

Newsletter:

It has come to our attention that a hollow has been raising some concerns as of late. Do not worry, this hollow is entirely harmless and under control. However, due to rising reports of this creature confronting people and sparking upset, we saw it fit to react accordingly.

Thus, a new program will be implemented.

Hollows will now be marked for your convenience. Ones with a ribbon tied around them are protected. All others may be dispatched as usual.

Should a hollow with ribbon charge you, do not be alarmed. It is not going to harm you.

Should a marked hollow pounce on you, grapple you, or otherwise grab you, remain still. Do not fight back. It will not harm you. If grabbed by the hollow, tell your commander once you are free. You may or may not be excused from any late penalties (this is a case-by-case ruling and entirely up to your commander).

Should you see someone else in the hollow's hold, remain calm. Do not try to remove the hollow. It will either let the person go, or take them with it wherever it wanders off to. Instead, send a butterfly alert to the person's commander.

Do not remove this ribbon unless you have specific permission form an authorized party.

Yamamato Genryuusai, First Division

"Now, read it back to me."

She did, admittedly with mich confusion, but she did.

"Is this correct Head Captain?"

"Indeed. Give it to the couriers, tell them to give a copy to each of the captains and heads of clans. And make sure a few copies are nailed up in the Rukongai."

Note to self, make sure to get someone to put a ribbon on that thing… and find a ribbon.


	9. The Courier

Another part of my Halloween special update where all stories are moved along by a chapter. Enjoy!

Kahikina _really_ didn't want to deliver the Shibas' letter.

The rumors were all but confirmed that there was a Vasto-lorde lurking about the Shiba compound. He did _not_ want to be anywhere close to there, newsletter or no.

He wasn't.

He had gotten the Kuchkis' letter to deliver instead. He had barely kept the whoop of relief internal when his straw was a long one. Some poor sop from the fourth had been filling in for Amond had pulled the short straw. I was kind of weird, when he was told that he was delivering to the Shibas' he looked almost _exited_. The guy's name escaped him. It Han-something or another; he couldn't bother to remember.

Especially not when he had work to do. And _especially_ especially, not in the Kuchki estate. Not with the distracting beauty and pristine order surrounding him.

Sakura blossoms fell around him, dancing and twisting to the whims of the wind. They would give each other just the slightest tap. Kahikina would imagine secret messages passing from petal to petal, what they said he would never know. He could only wish for that kind of politeness and efficiency among messengers around here. A welcomed fantasy whenever his job brought him here.

It was one of his favorite places to deliver, in fact. The gardens were always immaculate, and unlike delivering to the eleventh or second, he didn't have to worry about sneak attacks. He could just breathe deep the scent of cherry blossoms. Kahikina could clear his head and let his mind run in the newly open fields; he could listen to the nothing but sound of his own footsteps and thoughts, feel nothing but the tap on his shoulder...

Wait.

A quick glance behind him (it would not due to appear rushed in the presence of a noble). No one there but petals and neatly trimmed grass.

Another tap, this time on his other shoulder.

He was a bit faster this time, but still no one.

A third tap, this time on the very top of Kahikina's head. Someone above him chuckled. His neck snapped up so fast that he was pretty sure he heard something pop.

Then he promptly sat down. Hard.

They were just lying there; lounging among the branches like panthers. The hollow was on it's stomach, it's paws were tucked under its head, its legs were curled beneath* it like a cat. It's tail was draped over the edge of the branch, the tip waving lazily.

The man was partially lying on the damn beast. His back and neck were propped up by it, his lower torso and legs propped up by a perpendicular branch. He was practically using its mane as a _pillow._ The man gave a lazy wave.

"Hey"

Kahikina could only stare back. His mind was clear for a _whole new_ _reason_ now!

The hollow's jaw seemed to dislocate as it yawned -holy everything, that's wide!- giving an _exceptional_ view of some very big, very _sharp_ teeth, and... a blue palate?

The splash of blue mixed with _teeth_ was enough to do it though, as he managed to get his thoughts together enough to get out a strangled "Hi".

The hollow gave me a lazy side eye.

"Hey. Again. Say, what're you doing here? You don't _look_ like a Kuchki."

Either the man speaks squeak, or I actually managed to tell him that I was a courier. I'm honestly not sure which. I _really_ needed to get out of here, I was going to get eaten -or worse- late! I scrambled both to my feet and my words.

"I-need-I have to-other place! Need be!"

He put up his hand and nodded, stopping me before I could try* to speak again.

"I get it, you have a thing to deliver."

I bowed, relieved to beyond measure to be _away_ from that thing, but no sooner than I had taken three steps when:

"Hey, mind if we join you?"

Oh lord he's right behind me! I didn't even hear him move!

I couldn't speak, so he just took my silence as a "yes". I just kept walking as he began rambling about his day, about how he was only in the gardens because he saw kicked out of the Shiba compound and told to "Get out a bit, socialize, meet some new people, stop taking my chair.", and he chose the gardens because Shiro liked the smell.

 _Just walk. Just keep walking. Don't look at it. It can't hurt you if you don't look at it-it's right next to me!_

I could only put one foot in front of the other, mentally paralyzed by the mad man next to me and the killer creature padding alongside us.

Then, we were there .I could see the door. Only a few more feet, then I was free. I had made it. The doors opening was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I bowed and handed the envelope to the man at the door.

He regarded me, the letter, and the entity behind me respectively, before taking the letter and opening it right there. As I turned to leave I heard the man at the door call out to me.

"Wait, just a moment."

He was looking at me, with the occasional glance to the madman and hollow. Then, he smiled.

"Don't worry about those guys. This letter says they're harmless."

I fell over. No, really. The _inefficiency_ of it all, on top of the -apparently unnecessary- nerve grating fear was just _too much._

* * *

*those claws were very _specifically_ **not** digging into the tree's wood. You **don't** do that to kuchki trees. Not if you want to remain unshredded, that is.


	10. The Peacock

Warning: Yumichika _is_ Edna Mode in this one. Or at least a mix of Edna Mode and Mettaton.

Your death shall be _fabulous darling!_

I walked on a rather odd sight.

A few first division officers were attempting to pin down a hollow. They didn't seem very alarmed that it was wriggling out of their grasp every time. The hollow, on its part, was rather relaxed as well. It was like no one's hearts were really in it (which would be admittedly hard for the hollow, but with the officers, well...). There was also a pile of different colored ribbons in a pile on the floor.

Was I in the right room? They told me that my advice was needed on an aesthetic matter. I could definitely help with that, I'd be glad to even. But what am I supposed to do here? This was a creature of pure hunger and some people who most definitely wouldn't appreciate my advice. I won't know until I ask, I suppose.

"I have been told that my advice has been requested. What seems to be the problem?"

"Ah, Yumichika! Good, you're here. We can't get him to cooperate, he just keeps taking out the ribbon."

"He doesn't like the color." A new voice piped up from my left. I jumped a bit, on the inside of course. I had enough practice maintaining my composure, showing such alarm really breaks the flow of my presentation*.

But I hadn't even noticed the man sitting off to the side. I usually find it very hard to miss a choice so bold as orange hair. It was odd to say the least, on both out parts.

The first division didn't seem to care about any of that though, as he just asked the man,

"How do you know that?"

The man gave a small snort,

"I can understand him, remember?"

"Well then, why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"Shiro was having fun, and you didn't ask. I thought you were solving it yourself. I know that butting in isn't always the most helpful.**"

The first division officer sighed, then turned to me.

"At any rate, I'm glad you came. We need the advice of someone more well versed in accessorizing here."

Now normally I'd reply with something snarky, something along the lines of "Evidently" or "I can see that", but I honestly had no clue what they wanted my advice _on_.

"You certainly have the right person for _that_. But who am I supposed to be working with here? Because at the moment I'm looking at a group who physically can't take my advice, a beast of pure hunger who's being extremely calm about this all, and a man who thinks orange is a good idea for a hair color!"

There was a faint murmur of "It's natural" from the man, but I ignored it.

"And while it does seem to work for him, I must point out that it was an _incredibly_ risky venture. Orange is a _hard_ color to pair without making it look tacky. Plus, as far as I can tell, the _hollow_ has the best fashion sense out of you all! How does that even _happen?!_ So, what am I supposed to be doing here!?"

You could hear a pin drop in the vacuum that followed. Everyone had their eyes on me.

.

.

.

The silence broke

Someone was applauding, slowly.

"I can see why they warned me about bringing you in. You've really got a passion for this stuff, don't you?"

A touch of a smile made its way across my face. Glad to see _someone_ could recognise a dedicated artist when they saw one.

"Of course. I mean really, when are aesthetics not important?"

"Hmm... possibly when you're about to die***, but that's not important right now. What is important is why we've called you here. We would like your help choosing a ribbon for Shiro."

He jerked his head towards the hollow in acknowledgement.

I stared for a moment, then pointed at the placid creature.

"That thing? Really?"

The creature growled low, and oddly so did the man.

"He's not a _thing,_ and yes, really."

I backed up a step at the sudden change in tone.

"Fine, fine, I was just making sure."

It seemed placid and was surrounded by first division officers, so I deemed it safe enough to approach. I wasn't joking before, it really did have the best fashion sense out of the lot.

"Hmm… I see. Well, I suppose I can work with this. The colors here work well enough, a majorly white body does go well with red accents, and black does work with pretty much everything. Yes… I can definitely work with this…"

I turned to the man.

"What is this ribbon supposed to _say_ about Shiro here? What kind of impression do you want him to make?"

"Uh… it's just supposed to stand out. We want people to not panic when they see him, so it just needs to say 'this hollow has a ribbon'."

Shiro made a noise somewhat like a chuff that cut off into a cough.

"And also apparently 'I'm up for a game'."

"Okay..."

Odd, but what about this whole situation isn't some form of weird? Shake it off...

I began riffling through the pile of ribbons.

"Lets, see… you said you wanted the ribbon to be easily seeable, and have a playful quality? Hmm…"

I was just musing aloud, and I knew it. The orange-haired man was looking on in fascination, with perhaps a touch of mystification.

"I suppose that would work color wise, but none of them will work with your pattern. Maybe if I… does anyone have a pair of scissors?"

An officer pointed me towards the ribbon pile. A pair of scissors was lying next to it. I'm really not noticing _anything_ today, am I?

"It really doesn't matter much though, now does it?" I mused, snipping the ends of the ribbon. "So long as it works, who cares?"

The man piped up again.

"Are you talking to yourself?... I thought that was my job."

I ignored him. It was almost done… there!

I tied the blue ribbon, now with triangular notches cut into the ends, to the lower part of Shiro's mane.

"So, what do you think?"

He stopped inspecting the ribbon (it was a rather nice one, deep sky blue with black rings down the middle and black notched ends) and turned to me, giving me a clawed thumbs up and a chirp.

I gave a quick nod. Good.

But now, I have places I need to be.

"Now that that's settled, if you'll excuse me gentlemen. I have somewhere else I need to be."

As I ducked out I managed to catch a snippet of the orange haired man man saying:

"I thought you told him that he would be working with Shiro when you invited him!"

I never did get his name...

* * *

*life. It's hard to explain, but essentially he thinks of his like as one big display of prowess and beauty. He's a bloody peacock, sort of literally come to think of it...

**The guy grew up in a clinic. You do _not_ want to startle a person who is stitching someone up, or get in their light. Plus, this is the most entertainment he's had in weeks… on both ends. Ichigo might not be able to fully control Shiro, or know what he's thinking unless Shiro tells him, bt Shiro will often send him impressions and feelings. Example: when he's enjoying a tussle like this one.

***I was going to make some kind of Mettaton joke, and/or something about making your death " _Fabulous"_ , but I couldn't find a good place for it.

For the line "This was a creature of pure hunger and some people who most definitely wouldn't appreciate my advice." I was tempted to write "This was a being of pure hunger, and a hollow." It didn't make sense there. I thought you guys might like it though, so I put it here.

I actually looked into Japanese and Chinese color theory for this one. In Chinese and Japanese cultures it seems that black is traditionally the color of the heavens, and blue is one of immortality and femininity.

It's possible that I got this wrong, and I apologize if I did. I tried, and if I'm completely off course, feel free to correct me in the comments.


	11. The Gardener

Umm... I'm honestly not quite sure what happened with this one. It's not quite as funny as the previous ones, it think, but I think you'll still like it. I hope. Honestly, I think my agoraphobia may have manifested itself in Byakuya, but I'm not sure.

* * *

The clan meeting was just about done. Most people were there, most grievances had been aired, and most people had been satisfied. It had been a mostly productive time, and the clan head was just wrapping up.

"Alright, is that it?"

"Just one other thing, sir. Rukia has been consistently not attending the meetings. Someone needs to speak to her about that."

"I see. Indeed, that can not go on." He struck his Zanpakuto to the mat signalling the end of new topics.

"Alright, if that's it, then we should get moving. Azami, please go to the eleventh division, Natsu, the fourth. They need to get a route sorted out and through our lands needs to not be it.  
Aki, head to the first. They were requesting you over there. Ran, Yasuo, the Second. You know what to do. The rest of you know your orders, so let's get to have a lot to do people, go!"

A bit of an unnecessary prod in my opinion, most of these things either weren't time sensitive, or were just minor lifestyle changes. But I suppose it's just a good practice to get to things sooner rather than later.

"Oh, and would somebody please find Rukia?! You there!"

He was looking directly at me

"Me, sir?"

"Yes you, go find her."

"Yes, sir."

Now _this,_ _this_ was time sensitive. I was out the door as soon as I was dismissed.

It wasn't my place to question our head... but why me? Was it because I brought her in? I was just near the door at the time, that's all. Besides, it was raining who wouldn't take in a child like that? Was it because I kept watching her when she went out? She needed to know how to behave like a proper Kuchiki if she was to stay with us… which I lobbied for. That was probably why. Not because I have any kind of attachment to her. It's not like that aching tug in my chest was from worry, it was just… something else. I thought about the first time I met Rukia...

 _It was storming that night. The kind of storms that only come about once every fifty years, like an annoying uncle that never writes or attempts to contact you except when they remember that they even_ have _relatives and never brings anything good into your life, just dredges up bad memories of the_ last _time they visited; memories which you had locked in the "do not touch under pain of death by embarrassment" portion of your brain, which due to having not remembered let that annoying uncle back in to just wreck everything_ again _*. Which is to say, it was a dark and stormy night._

 _The rain was a constant pounding on the walls, a steady stream of tapping and knocking like some great_ thing _leaning against the old foundation. It was an almost dangerous sound, but quiet and steady, so ignorable. I had my nose deep in a book when something interrupted that stream._

 _It was a knocking sound, as though someone was at the door. I almost didn't even hear it through the rain._

 _At first I thought is was my mind playing tricks on me, after all, who would be out in weather like this? Not even a fish would be out in this kind of weather, even_ Kaien _stays indoors._

 _A fire was crackling in the sitting room, dancing and snapping tendrils of flame at the shadows, who, in turn curled away in an intricate little step of their own. I stared, slightly mesmerized at the little battle of dark and spark before turning back to my book._

 _Before I could get more than a few sentences in though, the knocking came again, louder and quicker this time, more urgent and certainly not in my mind. But again, who would be out on a night like this? Whoever they were, they meant business. What business, I hadn't the slightest idea, but they meant it. I had to be ready for anything_

 _Before I could make it to the door, a third bout of knocking came. It was even harder than the previous times, but no faster. I could feel the door still beneath my fingers as I reached for the latch, blade gripped in white knuckles in my other hand._

 _Deep breath… I flipped the lock and pulled, the door flying out and revealing… a girl._

 _Just a girl. She couldn't be more than 90**, wrapped in civilian clothing that had seen better days, to say the least. She was curled up on the step, shivering. I looked around, frantic. She wasn't nearly strong enough to nearly break in out door like that, who else was there?_

 _But there was no one else in sight or sense; I checked. I looked back down at the girl. She was still shivering, but less so. She was mainly just watching me now. How had she gotten here?_

 _"_ _Where- where am I?"_

 _I gave a start. She hadn't been particularly loud, but everything had been so_ natural _up to this point that her voice was a little jarring._

 _"_ _Kuchiki manor. And how did you get here on a night like this one, pray tell?"_

 _"_ _O-o-oh I'm sorr-sorry, sir. I wasn-n't aware that I was talking to a n-noble. I don-n't kn-ow how I got here. I th-think Mysterio-ous Mister-r White had some-thing to do-o with it-t."_

 _I took a quick look around, no-one in sight who might be this "Mysterious Mister White". For that matter, no one at all besides us two, period._

 _We Kuchiki's may be uptight, but there's no rule against taking a child out of the rain. We're not_ that _heartless. Besides, we were both soaking out here, and I still wanted to hear about this "Mysterious Mister White"._

 _I scooped her up -she couldn't weigh more than a mid-sized dog_ while _she was sopping wet- and placed her by the fire. I questioned her a bit more, asking where she came from, who this "Mysterious Mister White" was, and, most pressingly, was anyone looking for her?_

 _The girl -Rukia, she told me- had come from the lower-middle Rukongai, and her friends might be looking for her. I didn't get much information about the "Mysterious Mister White", as he seemed to be aptly named._

 _By this point she was nodding off, exhausted from the cold and soothed my the fired warmth. I let her rest, soon following suit in the soothing warmth of the fire._

 _Everything that day forward was a bit of a blur for a while. A few things stuck out though. I learned that "Mysterious Mister White" wasn't so much a person as a creature. It took care of the children of the district according to Rukia, but no one ever got a good look at the thing. It left gifts of food and blankets, and the children would swear that whenever someone tried to attack them a blur of white would take them out. But it also left claw marks in the trees along with it's gifts, and some people swore they saw a tail disappearing into the trees when it dashed off. They called "Mysterious Mister White" because one thing everyone who caught a glimpse of it agreed on was that it was at least partially white***._

 _Rukia had no clue how to act around nobles, and I wasn't exactly an expert at dealing with civilian children… or children at all for that matter._

 _All I know is that one night I pick up a girl off our doorstep, and the next she's living in out guest room. I think it's like birds, if you feed them they won't leave you alone._

She had taken to us like oil to a fire, though we're still unsure who's oil and who's fire. Either way, she burned out a place in our family, and was definitely here to stay.

Usually.

She never showed up for the Thursday meetings. Never. And come to think of it, we couldn't ever seem to find her on Saturday evenings either. Just where is she getting off to?

*o*o*

Hours flew by, before I knew it the crickets were out in full chorus. Night had fallen, and she was still nowhere to be seen. I would have to head back soon myself, dark had risen already. Soon cold would soon follow it's example.

I could only hope that she was back safe already.

*o*o*

I was about to turn back, but something stopped me cold.

A large figure was curled beneath Azami's tree. Odd, no one usually goes anywhere near her tree****. They were hard to make out in the darkness, but that didn't matter. I could sense my sister's Reishi.

And a hollow's.

My heart dropped. Was she?

No.

No, it was still there, and going strong.

I had to tread lightly. It could strike at any- wait.

Against the darkness, something blue. Just a flash, but it looked almost like… a ribbon?

As I got closer, I could make out, yes. That was a ribbon. Why would?...! Wasn't there something about not confronting any hollow's with ribbons? I paused, I should retreat, but Rukia was around here somewhere. What to do, what to do?

"Who's there?"

It was Rukia.

Where was she? The voice seemed to be coming from the direction… of the… hollow…

I took a step closer, and nearly lost my footing in shock.

She was sitting in the lap of the Shiba hollow. Well, as much of a lap as it could have. It was honestly more just lying on it's side while she was leaning against it.

"Hey, Byakuya! You'll never guess who _I_ found!" She practically sang.

"Uhm… the Shiba hollow?"

She looked at me with the blankest stare, then turned to the hollow.

"Is that what you're called?"

It shrugged. She stared for another second, then shrugged back.

"Eh, who cares? Anywho Byakuya, I'd like to introduce you to the 'Mysterious Mister White'!"

I stared at the two. _This?! This was the creature that protected those children in the Rukongai?_

How… why? I mean, yes, I saw the pamphlet, but _still!_ How is she so _sure?_

"How do you know?"

She grabbed a paw in both hands -the things were the size of her _head!_ \- and splayed the fingers?... toes? She splayed it's digits, putting the claws on full display.

"Remember when I said that it always left behind claw marks? Well, these suckers match up exactly to the ones left behind in the Rukongai!"

I nodded, that's all I really _could_ do.

"Alright then, if you're sure."

"I am!"

Nothing spoke but the crickets for a few minutes. Leaves and petals rustled alike as the temperature dropped another few degrees.

"Is this where you keep disappearing off to?"

"Yes."

Again a pause. I would have to tell the elders, but what? That Rukia, my sister, my _responsibility,_ was scampering off to cavort with a Hollow ever so often?

I stared at the sky.

"It's beautiful."

"What?"

"The night sky," I clarified, "the stars, they're gorgeous."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see both of them furn their gazes to the sky.

"I suppose it is."

"The infinite expanse of space, empty but for the stars scattered about. The fabric of reality twisting about them, pulling everything else with it. Far more vast, far more numerous than we could ever hope to understand. Infinite, beyond fact, beyond imagination. And here we are, so small yet we think ourselves so large."

I laughed, humorless.

"I could barely find you in our own gardens, who are we to think ourselves so large against the never ending abyss of space…"

I felt a massive paw on my shoulder. The humans have a phrase, "Staring into your soul". We in the soul society are nothing but, and it was staring straight into my eyes. There was very little hunger in them as I was lead to expect, just gold and black… and worry. Compassion, even.

It glanced over it's shoulder at Rukia, who was busy dusting herself off. It gave a soft *chuff* and lowered itself to all fours, padding over to help her up. She didn't need it of course, but Mister White couldn't have known that, or could he?

Rather than offering a paw, he bowed, dipping low on his front paws and lowering his horns nearly to the ground. Both Rukia and I stared on in confusion.

"What? Why?..."

His shoulder twitched, was he really?…

"Uhm… I think he's offering you a ride."

A gentle rumble confirmed my guess.

"Erm… okay then, if you're sure about this. Hup!"

I really hope that watching my sister clamber onto the back of a hollow is the most surreal thing I will ever witness. If not...

It took a moment for Rukia to find her balance, but once I was sure she was finally situated I turned towards home. It wasn't even a meter before someone scooped me up. Before I knew it I was seated behind my sister. On the back of a hollow. Well, _that_ was a quickly broken surreality record. She turned to me, a small smile creeping over her face. She poked me in the nose ever so lightly.

"Beep."

"But you _did_ find me." Seriousness found it's way into her tone, "And yes, we might be small, but at least we're not alone."

She turned away, leaning down to whisper something to Mister White.

For my part, I was far too stunned to respond. I could only stare at my little sister, when had she gotten so profound? The warm musculature of the hollow flexed beneath me as it began to pad through the dark.

I smiled, instinct acted. I wrapped my arm around her. I could feel Mister White's sides rise and fall with his breaths. That's right, not just _any_ hollow, Mister White. The being who helped her survive. Helped her be the person she is now. The elders would just have to deal with that.

And mind spoke.

"Let's head home, shall we?"

We tread home through the darkness, minding only the safety beneath us and the warmth between us.

* * *

*I tried emulating the first sentence of "Shadow War of the Night Dragons, book one: The Dead City" I don't think I quite made it, but dammit, I tried! For those of you unfamiliar with SWotND b1:TDC, it was a thing written by John Scalzi and is AMAZING. He essentially wrote the amazon preview for this book, but made it so bad in such a wonderful way that it's just pure brilliance. If you want there's even a guy on youtube who reads the whole thing, and his reaction to it. (the rest of the book was never made). The thing was nominated for a HUGO! John declined, telling them that the award should go to someone who really tried making something epic, not just a joke.

It gets better though: the next year John announced SWotND b1:TDS the Movie (it was never made)

But wait, there's more! The next year he announced the Musical was going to be made! And you know what, that still isn't the BEST PART! The BEST PART is that TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE made TWO SEPARATE VERSIONS of the musical! So, yeah… that happened.

Sorry about the tangent, I just love that that happened.

**About 8-10 or so in human years, maturity-wise.

***The "Mister" part of the name

****To figure out why, just look up the name

And yes, I do know that I wrote "Mister White" at the end instead of "Mysterious Mister White". That was not an accident.

* * *

Oh, and by the way, I tried to draw what he looks like in this fic. It's fairly accurate. Just remove spaces, you know the drill.

burnerseven. deviantart art /Mysterious-Mister-White- 715091815


	12. The Cats

As a special treat we get a bit of POV switching throughout the chapter. It's still mostly Yoruichi though. I think you guys can figure out who the other character is.

There are also some flashback sections.

* * *

A blur of black. A wisp of white.

That was all most could see that day. One would have to be fast as they to see them; most are not.

But many could hear them. The cracks and swishes of brief tears in the air, soon closed as they _moved_ past.

Or they would, If anyone was there to hear them.

The forest was their home ground, and they took every advantage. They had trained there, they knew it like their own claws.

Monochrome figures whipped through the branches, arching smears of color stringing the limbs together in a rapidly fading web as they ran the wilds' unmarked track. The white figure barely touched the tree as it propelled itself onwards, the branch snapping as it launched itself once more, forcing the pursuing black being to find another path.

She shifted, a smaller form taking her place mid-leap. The little form took the vertical path, new claws gripping the trunk, propelling her onward, before returning to her larger form.

Legs blurred, her chest constricted the heart. Panting. Something she hadn't done in a _long_ while. _*CRACK*_ it vanished. A restrained smirk cracked at her lips. Finally, a _challenge._

One she had been looking _forward_ too.

It all started when an Adjuchas was dropped off on our doorstep. No joke, no exaggeration.

It was fatally wounded, and before anyone could _do_ anything, it evaporated. At the time I had mostly thought _good riddance_ and chalked it up to some weirdo from the eleventh playing a prank.

By day four I knew we had a _situation_ on our hands. The eleventh hadn't claimed responsibility, neither had the second or any of the other squads. And my squad is always _thorough_ when we ask. No one squealed though, and the "Presents" kept up their frequency.

* * *

 _Don't you know how to hunt?! I keep leaving you examples, but you never figure it out. You're slow. We need to fix this. One more chance, then I'll take this into my own claws. After all, experience has always been the best teacher._

* * *

Now, this thing had been giving us trouble for _months._ _Nothing_ had even managed to escape the second division for this long, but damn if the hollow wasn't a worthy opponent. Yeah, we managed to figure out it's a bloody hollow, but _f*ck_ if it isn't flighty as all h*ll. Even our fastest could barely catch a glimpse of it, just blurs of white and red.

Recently, though, someone managed to see it while the beast still, and the report was… _interesting_ to say the least.

Rather than a creature built for speed -as expected- the hollow was almost brutish in appearance. Flatter mask with front-facing horns, larger arms and torso, and a thick, lizard-like tail.

And it was small. This all added up to a simultaneously Bad -with a capital "B"- and bloody _weird_ picture.

A hollow that small and fast -while being so simultaneously _blunt_ \- was strong. At least an Adjuchas, maybe even a Lorde. It was fast. It was strong.

It was leaving us _dead hollows_ as _presents._

* * *

 _Come on, you'll never catch me at this rate! You're faster than this, I know you are. We know you are. But I can't chase her. She'll turn and fight, she'll lose. I'll show her speed. I'll show her power. She'll be faster._

* * *

A flash of black and gold. What was going on?

I'll never know at this pace. Come on! Push it! Another flash, _how_ is it getting _faster?_ I'm going to lose it! Come on! Another flash… it keeps looking back at me.

What did this thing want? Really?

* * *

 _Faster. Faster. Stronger still. She must be swifter, stronger. There's always a bigger predator. Only stop at the top, then keep going. Break through the boundaries, let none catch you. Be faster. Be stronger. Be harder to hit. Be harder to kill._

 _Be viscous._

* * *

Everything about it suggested the hunt, except… I thought back to _before_ , at my division headquarters…

What had it been doing there? It's body was low, same with the head and tail. It had been stalking my third seat.

Wait a second… it's tail had flashed _up_ the moment before it pounced. If there's one thing we Shihoin's know -besides stealth-, it was body language. More specifically, feline body language.

Was it… maybe…!

A coiling of musculature under pale skin. The movement different from before, breaking my trian of thought. It was about to leap! I stopped -straining against my momentum ever so slightly- a snarling cutting out beneath me.

And a roar. The hollow, the one I've been pursuing let out a roar like none other I've heard. No sooner had I processed this something was behind me. A tugging on my collar, I snapped a fist at it. A reflex that took _many_ decades of practice*, but has proved invaluable on more than one occasion.

This was not one of those times though. What I struck was hard and _sharp._ Sticky red fluid was already running down my hand, dripping between the leaves to the forest floor. Even when I propped myself on both hands, there was no pain. I _knew_ it was there, but there was no room for pain in my mind at the moment. Just the fight.

All I could do was sit and watch, transfixed at the snarling beasts before me.

A large part of me was relieved; finally, a clear visual on my "target". I could see now what my lieutenant meant by "small" and "built for fight not flight". It was hard to believe that _this_ was the creature that almost lost me.

A claw-tipped in hand flashed.

It wasn't hard to believe anymore.

The hollow was _fast._ Well obviously, it was fast enough to almost lose _me._ But from what I was witnessing here, Target had been _holding back._

I could barely make out what was what, the white black melding to grey at those speeds. Smears of red were the only way to track the combatants for a moment. The two broke from another, a silent standoff. Target snarled, the larger hollow returning the gesture with an almost nasally roar of its own. They both threw me a quick glance, then turned back, trying to stare the other into submission.

Another flurry of action. Leaves scattered. The beasts slammed into each other. The rouch, empty sound of claws on armor filled the air, broken itself by a pained cry. The fight quickly separated, again the hollows glanced back at me. This time, though, the larger hollow didn't turn back to it's opponent.

Rather, it snarled, crouched lower. It's left foreleg was pulled against its body in a sheltering way. It knew it couldn't beat Target, but me? I was already injured, and certainly-!

Crack!

A tree seemed to shorten for a moment as two previously separate parts met through what used to be a dozen feet of trunk. It toppled, 5,000 pounds of wood creaking, crashing to an earth-shaking halt.

It was over.

The larger beast lay exposed, shards of the tree it had been beaten through sticking to it's skin as it was held prone, neck exposed; pinned under an almost-human hand. Everything stopped. _Turn, make eye contact. Look at me. Watch me._

It kept glancing back at me, making _eye contact_. _Why_ though?

Claws twitched, grabbing my attention, before flashing _up_. A hair's breadth from slicing the mask of it's pinned foe. It's gaze never strayed from mine. Neither of us would blink, neither dared to look away, we were locked in each-other's stare for who knows how long.

Until, that is, we were interrupted.

"Hey! If you're done staring at each other, can I get up now?"

Target looked down, regarding the speaking- _speaking!_ hollow with what almost seemed like a raised eyebrow, despite not having any facial structure to do so.

"Okay, okay, fine. I give."

The smaller hollow didn't move for a moment, regarding with that same raised-eyebrow expression, before leaning down and licking at the talking one's shoulder. Black claws lifted from his downed opponent's neck, but the other hollow still didn't even attempt to get up. Rather, it lay there. Prone, neck and belly fully exposed.

"Can I get up now?... please?"

My target let out a quiet grunt, nudging it's fallen foe. At that little gesture, they became new beings.

The speaking one shot up, headbutting Target. Both hollows toppled to the forest floor, roughhousing. The talker batted at Target's horns. claws snagged and the smaller hollow was almost thrown to the ground. The larger one took it's opportunity, jumping on Target. A small bout of wrestling ensued, this fight far slower than before. It was all rather playful, as though they weren't just tearing at each other not one minute ago.

After a couple minutes the tussle petered out, leaving the two flopped over each other in a heap of white plates. The talker lifted it's head after a moment, addressing my existence vocally for the first time.

"So, Sensei, who's the broad?"

At this Sensei tail-smacked the one I'm going to refer to as "Chatty" upside the head.

"Hey," Chatty whined, rubbing its head, "what was that for?"

Sensei merely leveled Chatty a flat stare.

"Yeah, right, I know. Court a girl before making advances, fine. Whatever." The hollow grumbled, before bouncing back to what I can only assume is its usual energetic self, "Anyways, how'd I do this time?"

Sensei held up four fingers in response. Chatty grunted, a snarl briefly gracing his muzzle before it was smacked off by Sensei's tail.

Okay, enough was enough.

"If someone doesn't tell me what's going on right now, I swear… there will be consequences. I have contacts and I _will_ find you."

The blank stares the two hollow's had on was almost comical, and when they turned to each other to exchange looks I actually had to hold back a chuckle. It was like looking at two kids trying to process something completely foreign.

"Uhh… okay, do you want names or something?" Chatty asked, tone somewhere between tentative and impudent.

Fine, whatever. It'll be _something_ to go on. Wait a moment, hollow's have _names?!_ I shook the thought, that's not a rabbit hole I want or need to go down right now. I made the "go on gesture".

"I'm Grimmjow. Sensei over there usually goes by Shiro, though some folks call you 'The Shiba Hollow' or 'Mysterious Mister White', do I have that right?" Grimmjow turned to Shiro, who shrugged and made a hybrid growl-warble sound.

"Oh! Right, and some people call him -" The hollow finished the statement with his best approximation of a scream of terror. "Not sure why though."

I might have a few ideas. But once again, not important.

"Alright. Now, if someone would _kindly,"_ I stressed the word, putting as much honied danger into it as I could, "inform me as to what exactly is going _on_ here, I would be most _appreciative."_

Reactions of the beast before me varied. Grimmjow's response -a puzzled grimace, head low but cocked in confusion- I could work with. Mildly taken aback, he was liable not to think through his words first; and puzzled, he would have questions, be off his game.

Shiro on the other hand… not so much. His paws shifted beneath his bulk. His mask split slightly, a shocking blue emphasizing the toothy grin. He seemed almost _exited._ Eager, even.

He made a sound like someone hacking their throat up.

Grimmjow untangled himself from the other hollow so fast he stumbled. His back arched, brow ridges raised and eyes wide in shock.

"Hold up, you want me to do _WHAT?!"_

The hacking cough came back for an encore.

This was getting ridiculous.

"Hey! A translation for those of us who don't speak… that." I gestured in Shiro's general vicinity. I could _tell_ behind his mask that hollow was grinning like a certain scientist I know.

Grimmjow on the other hand had more shock on his face than I was aware a hollow could show. Granted, that wasn't a high bar, but yeesh. You'd think Shiro just asked him to marry me or something. Granted, he did look better than a few guys I know - better manners too - but still. Hollow, Shinigami. Why am I even thinking about this? Eww.**

And he was still sitting there. My foot began a slow tap in time with jagged, irritated spikes of reaisu. It took a moment, but he snapped out of it, rapidly blinking and switching focus back and forth between me and Shiro.

"Well?" I snapped.

"He wants us to work together." The hollow barked a laugh somewhere between disbelieving and derisive. "I mean _really,_ a _hollow_ and a _shinigami_ working _together?!_ " He barked another laugh. "I'd bet that the only thing holding you back right now is our strength. You know you can't win, so your not even gonna try."

"What hollow would willingly work with a shinigami?"

Shiro's deadpan stare was actually impressive. I suppose having a face that can't emote does help, but still… wow.

The small hollow slowly padded over to Grimmjow, reached up, and proceeded to smack him into a faceplant. The larger hollow llay there for a few moments, unmoving before he spoke.

"Stupid question."

Shiro's response was another deadpan stare, this one more of a sarcastic "ya think?" to it. It was still for a moment, just the two hollows and myself in a forest.

Shiro reached down and grabbed Grimmjow right behind his mask. The smaller hollow calmly rose to sand on two legs. Smaller, I reminded myself, was relative. Shiro was still bloody _huge_ by shinigami standards.

But even so, even on his hind legs, the adjuchas' hind legs dragged small trails in the dirt.

And that bulk was dropped at my feet. Or -rather- on my feet.

Luckily, his size belied his weight. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have much left in the way _of_ feet.

He was still for a second, then looked up. Our eyes met, white staring into black staring into white. For that moment we regarded each other, neither quite sure what to say, far less what to do. Both knew one thing though.

We _both_ had no f*ckin clue where to go from here.

"So, uh, sensei… what exactly am I supposed to be doing here?"

That's one way to figure it out. There was something else bugging me though, something that kept coming up.

"Why do you keep asking him?"

Grimmjow flowed to his feet and blinked at me like I asked a question I should already know the answer to. If I _knew_ I wouldn't be _asking, would I?_

"He's stronger, he has more experience, he beat me, I _will_ come out on top! Remember that! I will beat you!" Grimmjow's explanation broke off in a declaratory roar at Shiro before bringing his attention back on me, "But yeah, he didn't kill me and said he wanted to train me. So he makes the rules."

Okay, fine. That made enough sense, I supposed. Well, except…

"If he's so much more powerful than you. Why can't he speak like us?"

Grimmjow shrugged.

"Who knows? The best we've got is that he's not used to speaking like this. Something about 'wrong vocal chords', Whatever that means."

Those "wrong vocal chords" made themselves wish a coughing bark when the other Hollow called. I can only assume it was for our attention as he began walking off. That thick tail flicked in an invitation to follow.

Grimmjow and I exchanged glances, then both made to follow Shiro.

Once again, he set the pace. Instead of breakneck speed, this time it was downright leisurely. Without the need to chase I could take in the serenity of my surroundings. Massive pines, many older than even the elders of the seireitei.

Nothing was heard but a faint flap of wings and a feather dropped in front of Grimmjow's mask. Migratory ba flew overhead, gold details flashing faintly as they moved on to warmer locale. Once the autumnal chill began to make itself known some souls prefered to move.

Looking up at the ba I nearly bumped into Grimmjow. Both he and Shiro were staring at something. What were they?... oh. Of course.

I reached down between the two massive soul-eaters and plucked up the feather lying there. They were still staring at it, following it with their heads, and when I moved farther, even bodies. I pocketed the flashy little thing. It may be useful later.

They stared at me, Shiro drawing into a crouch. That non-smile made its way to his mask once again.

A blur.

He was gone once again.

Grimmjow and I regarded each other once again.

I grinned. He returned the gesture, albeit with more teeth.

"Shall we?" I asked, gesturing in the direction his mentor left.

He crouched, the grin broadening.

"Yes."

* * *

*Remember that kitten reflex?

** Let me make this very clear right now: This is a GEN fic. This line of thought is meant as a JOKE. If you wish to ship these two, that is okay. But this isn't the fic to go to. Thank you for your time.


	13. The Old Bird

You folks are smart, you should be able to figure out who's speech is who's without me spelling it out.

* * *

He told me it was time for me to introduce myself. My partner said it was up to me.

The kids made my decision for me.

* * *

It had started like any other "day". Partially cloudy, but with a nice breeze and a good view of the city.

 _Zangetsu! A little help!? Please? I can't handle these guys myself!_

[Then just come back]

 _Can't!_

[And why not?]

 _I can't carry them back like that._

I blinked behind my glasses. Can't carry who- oh. Oh no. Not again.

I brought two fingers up to my face, pressing on the bridge of my nose. That silly, rash, overprotective… I sighed. There was no helping it I guess. If Instincts needed help, then it was help he would receive. I couldn't exactly just _leave_ him out for the wolves.

Besides, it would be nice to see the outside with my own two eyes again.

First I would need to warn my partner though.

[Ichigo, I need to leave. Instincts has requested my assistance with something. I should be back in a short period of time.]

 **Be sure to call if you need help.**

[Of course.]

With that out of the way I gathered my energy, cracking and absorbing the surrounding structures in preparation for my exit. The sound of static rang out, followed by a boom, and I was out.

Light and sound and smell and touch and… everything was do much _more_ out here. I had forgotten, it was almost overwhelming. The red of brick, the soft brush of wet grass, the clean smell after the rain, a faint whiff of explosives, it was all so clear. Memories rejuvenated themselves, this was _right._ I remembered.

I took a step forward, savoring the sun's warm rays, before promptly falling over.

I lay there for a moment, stunned. What just happened? Something wasn't right. I tried to get up, key word here: tried. My limbs weren't responding right. I craned my head around to look at my body, and could only stare.

I didn't remember _this._

I wasn't human. Granted, I was _never_ really human, and had changed my shape before, but now I wasn't even humanoid!

I was long, lanky. It was a bit hard to see beneath the tattered cloth, but I could definitely recognise the shape of my own shallow breathing. From what I could make out I was downright sinuous. I forced my breathing to slow, attempted to calm myself. I shut my eyes against the intrusion of the outside world, just focus on my breathing. Holly- no, no- what- Six- I have six- I have six eyes.*

Okay, stop. Now, you are you. You can do this. You always have.

 **Zangetsu, are you okay? You're panicking, you need help?**

[No, no, I'm okay. Something just… surprised me, that's all. It's nothing bad.]

Yeah, that's right. Nothing bad. This soul's always been weird, what's one more oddity? We could work with this. I took a deep breath. Good. Now, how to go about this?

First things first, figure out what I'm dealing with. Know myself. After that, we'll have to figure it out when we get there.

I took another look back, surveying my new form. For one, it my neck was far longer and thicker. I seemed to have kept my cloak, albeit modified for a new shape. It was now more of a blanket, or maybe a veil. That was okay, it would stay as I moved, it was a part of me.

And on that note, looks like I have six legs now too. They were long and spindly, the rear four ending in paws. I raised the front two to my eye level. They appeared to be some kind of hands. A bit of flexing and experimenting revealed long retractable claws.

I brought them to my face, something was definitely different there too. Besides the six eyes, I mean. I quickly drew my hand back when I touched something long and sharp. Okay then… I suppose something reflective would be in order. But what?

A quick survey if my surrounding revealed a few nearby puddle. Alright then, one foot in front of-! Nope, back on the ground. Okay, again. Try again. Just keep going. You'll get it eventually. Just keep going.

The wet grass was in no way helpful to my endeavors, but I was determined. It was tricky, but eventually I got it. There was a trick to movement: I had to _not_ think about it. Take a page out of the hollows book, let instinct do the work. Easier thought than done. Or would it be easier thought than not?... no matter. It just has to happen… or not happen? Okay, stop. Semantics really aren't important right now.

I shook myself out of that useless rabbit hole of thought. I managed to draw myself into a sitting position** and peered in the puddle. My face wasn't much of a face anymore. From what I could see peeking from under my cloak it would be more appropriate to call it come sort of animal's skull. Long, flat, and white. The fact that there was no skin -along with the long, forward curving fangs- was evident, even with most of my head covered by cloak.

Something twitched at the edge of my vision. A tail. I had a tail. Like pretty much everything else about me now it was long and thin. The end was covered in long spear-like spines. Or perhaps they were more arrow-like? No matter. They were there.

This would take some getting used too. I could do it. I always did. _We_ always did.

As they say, speak of the devil and you shall find him in your hat. I wasn't wearing a hat, but nonetheless as soon as the the thought crossed out mind, Shiro showed up.

" _Hey, Crane!"_

If I were another entity (and had full control of my limbs) I may have jumped at Shiro's sudden entrance. As it was I merely mentally rolled my eyes at the nickname. He claimed I look like a wading bird whenever I perch motionless for any period of time.

[I see you've taken care of-!]

Our hollow half tackled me, mud spraying as we tumbled in a flurry of limbs. I tried to get my new limbs under me, but it was harder than one would think. Between the mud, the new limbs, and the unhelpful bundle of instincts on top of me it took a few moments for me to even _orient_ myself.

[Get off.] I grumbled. Shiro jumped off like someone lit a cero under him, practically vibrating with excitement.

" _Oh, come on Crane, get up! Shake it off! You have to see this!"_

[I don't _have_ to do anything. I _will_ however, do _this!_ ] Finally managing to get my legs under me I lunged for our other half. In hindsight, a poor plan seeing as he had far more experience moving quadrupedally than I did.

I missed, landing with a small thud. I got back up, a bit quicker this time. I was getting better at this. I prepared for another leap, but the hollow cut me off.

" _Wait, wait, not right now! There's something ya need to see first."_

I paused. _Him,_ not wanting a fight? Nearly unheard of. The only time he was ever not itching for a scrape was… I began frantically whipping my head side to side, searching for…!

 _Lookit what I found!_ He chirped, bounding behind the two children. The boy had been carrying the younger girl, but seeing they had reached their destination, now setting her on the ground.

I sat there for a solid minute, stunned. I could only blink at the younglings, who seemed to be in a similar state. Bizarre as as their behavior, and young as they were, if I took a moment I could still recognise their Reitsu.

A hand on my side grabbed my attention. The former/future captain of the eleventh showed no fear -as per bloody usual- and had begun exploring me, attempting to peek beneath my cloak. Attempting being the key word here.

I ripped my gaze from the children as a thought hit me. I threw Shiro a side eye.

[Hold on a moment, how did you know it was me?]

I got the distinct impression of a grin as he leapt at me. I couldn't quite get my legs to move in time, so once again the mud flew.

" _Ya may look different, but ya still smell like the same old bird!"_

I'm pretty sure my face can't emote anymore (admittedly, it didn't do much of that even when it _could_ ), but I sure tried my hardest to throw Shiro the flattest expression I could muster.

Whether or not I succeeded I'll probably never know, but I most definitely couldn't keep any semblance of seriousness when someone started playing with a hind paw. A giggle revealed the source: Yachiru.

I craned my neck to look at her, managing just in time to catch Kenpachi scooping her up and getting them both to a safe distance.

I turned my attention back to the more imminent and annoying "threat". I got the distinct impression that beneath his mask he had on a $#!%-eating grin.

 _C'mon crane, ya know how the king likes kids!_

That was about when Ichigo showed up. He paused, looking between me, Shiro, and the kids off in the corner of the clearing. A solid minute passed before he spoke.

"Do I even want to know?"

Speak of the devil…

* * *

*internal stuttering freak out

**Four legs on the ground, Imagine how a dog sits, and apply that to his hind limbs.

Interesting note: Shiro is actually better a recognising Reistu than Zangetsu. Hollows need to be able to do this for hunting and sensing when a potential threat is approaching.

And if any of you want a picture, here (just remover the spaces): burnerseven. deviantart art /Creature- Zan-733580331


	14. The Cat, The King, The Teacher, The Bird

I've been spending a lot more time in the Shinigami's realm recently.

Everything here is edible. I'm not allowed to eat anything that can talk, but there are some other options.

As sensei says, "never look a gift horse in the mouth". I have no bloody clue what a horse is, but whenever I ask he just gives me this look and tells me "It's something you disrespect at your own risk."

I'm torn between wanting to meet one and desperately praying I never do.

* * *

Today started in a bizarre haze.

If I remember correctly, I had been sleeping. It wasn't something I usually did, and hadn't even considered it before arriving here -to easy for someone to sneak up and take a bite- but it's become a bit of a habit since then. Something about it just feels… right*.

Prickling at the corner of my senses. Someone was-!

A tugging sensation right behind my maskat my neck-plates caused by body to form that instinctive curl**. A cool haze blanketed me. The world grew fuzzy, then blurred.

The haze only lasted for a minute before I felt hard ground beneath my paws. I spun, lunging at my assailant(?). Eh, who cares. They touched me, and- my snout connected with the floor. It smelled like wood and felt like pain. Something -a paw, I think- pressed firmly against the back of my head. I snarled as best I could for all of a few moments before the scent finally registered through the excitement.

"Sorry Sensei." I managed to mumble through the floor.

"What did I tell you about looking and leaping?"

"Look before you leap or your soul is set to reap." I recited.

"Good. Don't do this next time." he finished, paw lifting. "Get your nose off the floor."

That was all the permission I needed. I sprang back. Right into the idiot of a shinigami standing right behind me. We slammed to the floor, my head -the back of it this time- meeting it for the second time in as many minutes.

Really?! What kind of loon stands that close to two fighting hollow… I managed to untangle myself from this guy, only to see feathers. Apparently the almost literal kind. Why does this guy have feathers on his face?

"Who the #^% is this loon?" I snapped.

The loon in question sniffed in distaste. "This 'loon' has ears you know."

"Yeah, and I don't particularly care."

A paw smacked my head into the floor again.

"And what did I tell you about making pointless enemies?"

"Don't." I said.

A snort drew my attention to a man standing in the corner.

"Neither of us is really one to talk." He said, smirking.

How do I keep missing these people?! I flopped to the floor, done for the moment.

"Hey! Get off!" The feathered shinigami -who hadn't taken his chance to move for some reason- snapped. I grumbled, but rolled off his legs. They weren't comfortable anyway.

I shut my eyes, a futile attempt to put the world into order. Ever since sensei came into my life things have been just… crazy.

"Now," the feathered shinigami said, apparently trying to keep some semblance of dignity, "what do you want?"

"He needs a ribbon."

My eyes snapped open and I threw my sensei a look. Apparently I lay corrected. Life's not crazy, it's loony. Eh, screw it. Might as well ask, it's not going to get any less crazy.

"What do you mean 'need a ribbon', who's the crazy feather guy, what the #^% is this orange-haired joker doing here… and why does he smell kind of like you?"

The 'orange-haired joker' cracked a sliver of a smirk and stepped forward, squatting down to get in my face.

"Hello to you to, I'm The King. I'm here to make sure you don't -for lack of a better word- kill each other."

He looked over to the feathered shinigami and nodded. The feathered one returned the gesture before walking off.

I prickeled at the arrogance. First calling himself the king, then showing his neck, like I wasn't any kind of threat?! Inexcusable. I'll bite his nose off the arrogant- wait. Something registered in the back of my mind. I looked over to sensei. He wasn't disagreeing.

Ny head hit the floor again, my mind going blank*** in an attempt to process this information. Wha…

Something is on my back. It's on my spine, right around the small of my back. That sent a jolt up my spine, straight to the brain.

I twisted, trying to get a glimpse at what was wrapped around my spine. A ribbon? Was I seeing that right? Get it off!

The next I-don't-know-how-long was spent twisting and leaping, trying to reach that stupid spot until I was panting. Sensei sat off to the side, looking at me concernedly. The stupid orange-haired "king" stood next to him, trying and failing to hold back an amused look.

"Do you want some help with that?" He asked, smirking.

"No!" I snapped, "I'll do it myself!"

I will catch that #^% ing ribbon.

* * *

*See article: cats

**I have decided that all species unless proven otherwise do this, and there's nothing anyone can do to change my mind.

*** has crashed. Boop nose or mess with tail to restart.

And to answer the next question: No, I don't know what color Grimmjow's ribbon is.


	15. The Clever Boar

There it was again.

I paused a second, trying in vain to snatch up that odd thread of out of place reitsu. Usually I wouldn't have bothered so close to the twelfth's building (not after that incident with the foam at least), but this thread had a definite _hollow_ tinge to it.

Again it slipped my grasp. I let out a disappointed huff, but pushed the whole thing to the side and continued on my mission. A small breeze rustled the spring foliage, with it the regular odd scents of the twelth division: explosive powder, undefined chemicals, and more than a touch of lunacy.

I wasn't sure why my captain why asked my to research a "laser pointer" -whatever _that_ was, I'd asked but my commander didn't know either- Kido, but I had a suspicion it had something to do with the second division officer visiting the other day. But I didn't question it, and there I was, hoping to access some of the twelfth's research.

"Oi! What're you doin' here Hachi?!"

She really needed to figure out how to regulate her reiatsu. An academy student would be able to pick up on the chaotic snapping that surrounded her. On the other hand, it made it easy to catch her whenever she tried to kick me.

It only took one hand, and really; she should know better than to attack a member of the Kido Corps, even if said member _was_ the only well known one around the seireitei.

"I'm here to access your files on hollow lures."

Hiyori tossed me a side eye. It wasn't particularly effective as I still had her by her foot.

"Fine," she huffed, "follow me."

She twisted out of my grip and made a beeline for the research building.

"You're going to need to wait a bit though. We're in the middle of something." She said, leading me down a maze of corridors, rooms, and past machines I couldn't describe if I tried.

I raised an eyebrow. There had been no announcement of large projects today. It was a requirement for the second to alert us of any such projects. We'd had to put it in writting after the fourth incident involving a living-world tiger and bells. The third division was _still_ finding glitter under their floorboards. I would need to monitor this.

"What kind of project?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I dunno how to describe it. But both my captain and a Shiba are involved so something's going to explode."

"And why are you not with them?"

"Captain said something about fighting with 'mister skink.' And here we are."

We had come to a halt in front of a stone door all but coated in Bakudo Barriers.

"Wait here. I'll get the captain. He's the only one who knows how the research is organized, the weirdo."

And with that she tapped the hilt of her Zanpakuto into the door twice.

A loud BANG and some muffled yelling was our only answer for a few seconds before someone flung the door open and something white and _hollow_ launched itself at my face. I snapped my fingers and muttered a chant, leaving the hollow suspended mid-leap.

It blinked and cocked its head like a confused lizard. And odd hiccuping growl rose from its throat. A tall, orange headed man poked his head out of the door.

"What is it this time- oh." He stepped fully out of the room. "Hello Hatchi."

Alright, I'd better cut this weirdness off at the head, "Before we continue, who are you and what exactly is going on here?"

"The first one is pretty simple. I'm Ichigo, that's Shiro, and this," he patted the cloth covered head of something big and toothy which poked out from behind him, "is Zangetsu." The toothy creature gave a lilting growl and cocked its head.

"And they are currently being interrupted." Said Urahara.

"Alright, alright," Ichigo grumbled, "we're coming." The spikey cloth covered head disappeared and Ichigo moved to follow, but paused. "Come on in Hatchi. And let Shiro go." I raised an eyebrow but no one else contradicted his order, so I let "Shiro" fall to the stone floor. The hollow immediatly scrambled to the orange haired man and curled tight around his feet.

I stepped into the room and -after being distracted by a spinning thing on an impressivly cluttered desk- got a good look at the other creature. A large, dark grey cloth covered the majority of the body and tail. Only the teeth, six spindly legs, and the lower tail stuck out.

"We're just getting a baseline reading."

The creature shifted from foot to foot, an odd, subtle dance with six legs. It crouched, weight shifting to wirey haunches, and leapt to one of the long lamp poles jutting from the wall. It was only a few inches wide and about twenty feet straight up, yet the creature perched with ease.

A small chuckle drew my attention to the orange haired man. A smile touched the corner of his face for a bare instant before a scowl chased it off. He turned to me and I caught amusement sparkling in his eyes. The scowl might be his default expression then.

"Hey, Hatchi. Can I ask you a favor?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Most likely. What do you need?"

"Something with your scent on it." He said, "It doesn't need to be big or important."

"And why exactly do you need this article?" I asked.

"Shiro's a big softie." He scratched the hollow behind its mask like one would scratch a bird. The hollow half-heartedly glared at him but leaned into the scratches nonetheless.

"And how does that relate to needing something with my scent?" I said, lightly tilting my head.

Shiro's eyes flashed and he let loose a sound like the doors of hell if they hadn't been oiled in eons. It crouched, winding up to pounce, but was cut short by Ichigo's hand around one of his horns.

"He misses you guys, and I can't exactly let a hollow run loose in your headquarters every time he gets nostalgic."

Shiro took umbrage at that, and sunk his formidable teeth into Ichigo's arm. I would have moved to separate them, but neither party seemed to mind. Instead, the man lifted his arm with the hollow still latched on like a stubborn dog. The two locked eyes for a few seconds before Ichigo turned his attention on me.

"Anyway, I know you didn't have any forewarning, but you don't need to have the object right now."

"Hmm…" I moved a stack of papers from the nearest chair and took a seat. I mulled the request over in my head. Urahara had employed the aid of a long stick to poke Zangetsu off his perch. The creature scuttled across the walls to the otherside of the world, looking to all the worlds like an otherworldly centipede.

Shiro held on for another minute before dropping of Ichigo's arm. Where I expected jagged bite marks there was nothing but a white substance. It quickly cracked and flaked off. Shiro cocked his head to follow Zangetsu, a lizard watching a cricket scuttle about. He leapt, snatching the spindly form from its perch near the ceiling.

Both creatures landed with a floor-shaking thud. The hollow took Zangetsu in his jaws and reared onto his hind legs, part carrying-part dragging his catch to Ichigo. The corner of the orange haired man's lips quirked up, betraying the hidden amusement.

Neither I nor Ichigo were particularly short men, but Shiro towered over us with ease. I got a very good view of paws easily the size of my head and matts of dirt-streaked red fur at each wrist. Ichigo pointed Shiro to the scientist who was having a hard time keeping still. And by "hard time," I mean he wasn't. Urahara bounced foot to foot, hands fidgeting with a writing utensil and clipboard.

The hollow cocked his head, but at Ichigo's instance he dropped Zangetsu at the scientists feet.

The spindly creature was on its feet in an instant and made a move to bolt. It didn't get more than a foot before Shiro headbutted it. It must have taken quite a bit of practice to do so without impaling the other person, but the hollow managed it. Zangetsu stilled. Shiro nudged the creature with his shoulder and sat. Zangetsu followed his lead.

The scientist gilded forward, slow and careful to keep all his movements obvious. He would be busy taking measurements for a while.

I turned my attention to Ichigo. I had questions, but also needed to report back to my commander.

"What kind of object?" I finally asked. A personal delivery would be a good time to ask my questions.

He shrugged, "Almost anything, so long as it smells like you, isn't larger than a house, and isn't perishable."

I nodded, "I could get you such an object by the end of the week. Where shall I find you?"

"Oh, here and there. I mainly sleep at the Shiba compound. If I'm not there at the end of the day, check the Saikuru woods."

I raised an eyebrow, but he didn't offer any further explanation. He merely leaned against the nearest wall and watched Urahara work. I made my way to the door, I'd have to report this swiftly. Besides, I still needed that lure research.


	16. The Conservationist

Happy Halloween!

Quick note: This chapter is from the POV of a real person. He is deceased in real life as well. See if you can figure out who it is. If not, it will be at the end of this chapter.

You may also want to look up what a "Waniguchi" yokai is before reading this.

* * *

I'd never feared death. I still don't. It would be rather pointless to fear something that's already happened, right? Not to mention all the door's it's opened. So many beauties I'd never know about, so many new creatures to experience. Each one with its mysteries and secrets. And every blue moon, you'll meet a _really_ special one.

It all started "normally" enough.

No matter where you go in this world, there will be snakes. From the rainbow mother wandering new riverbeds into the outback, to a japanese big boy with eight heads and eight tails who wound around valleys, to a massive five-headed mama I'd been surprised to find curled among galaxies. Giant reptiles have always been wonderful critters, but I'd been following significantly smaller prey that day. Smaller being relative of course.

Bethany's still the size of a full grown gator.

I'd been studying her for weeks, tracking her locations and finally managed to pin down her nesting site. She'd found a lovely spot. A hole dug in the mudbank next to a good sized river. Fresh flowing water, not to mention the spring foliage providing excellent cover from aerial predators. She wouldn't need to worry about those predators of course, but her babies…

A flash of silver grabbed my attention just in time to see Bethany's tail vanish into the river.

Now was my chance! I scrambled to the burrow. I had to duck my head under to see the babies, but there they were. Tiny things, no longer than my forearm. They squirmed and lifted their bell heads, but didn't have the strength to move around yet. Some were copper, others silver. I hadn't managed to spot Bethany's mate, but he must have been copperhead.

I relaxed and watched the babies, ears perked for mama's return. Even though most creatures couldn't see me, a good few were still capable of sensing me. This often leads to stress responses, as their instincts are sending messages conflicting with their senses. Babies aren't as bothered as they don't always know what sights go with what instincts, but I would hate to cause Bethany any unnecessary strife.

Grass, ever wet from the river's spray bent under my fingers. My killer's sea wandering was a constant tug on my chain. The links jingled in the wind, noise getting lost in the tiny tinkling of the babies cries for attention. I smiled. It may not be the chirping of croc hatchlings, but new life warms the heart no matter what it is. I lay there for a few minutes, river's burble and hatchlings chirp laying soft on my ears.

The summer sun bounced off something silver. I knew a borderline maniac smile had spread over my face as Bethany crawled from the underbrush. She was a gorgeous silver waniguchi, all rippling scales, sturdy muscle, and shining metal. I froze, entranced anew at the intricate engravings on her bell, highlighted in the afternoon sun.

She emerged from the river, scuttling to meet her babies. Her jaw was partially open, revealing tiny live fish in a small pool of water. I scrambled back. With any luck, she hadn't sensed anything off.

I sat back on my heels for a moment, cataloging everything. There had been around two dozen hatchlings in that nest. I leaned against a nearby maple and jotted a couple things down in the notebook I kept on hand. I'd just about finished when a sharp pain jabbed my ankle.

It was a spider. A big one -a somewhat comforting fact, as large spiders are more likely to hunt with sheer power rather than venom- but one I'd never seen before -a significantly less comforting fact- and it had sunk its fangs in right next to my Achilles tendon.

I nudged the little bloke with my notebook, but it didn't move. Hands on approach it is then. I gently unwrapped the deathgrip its legs had on my ankle and took its thorax between my forefinger and thumb. I gave it a light tug to make sure the little guy wasn't sporting any rear-facing barbs on those fangs and -once satisfied he didn't- removed the little bugger. It squirmed and reared up in my fingers before I gently placed it on my notebook for a better look. The little guy reared up, flashing a black underbelly and lovely, nearly half an inch long fangs.

It twitched like a jumping spider getting ready to pounce. Years of reflexes had me ducking the spiders leaping strike. I looked over my shoulder, only to recoil as _something_ flashed inches from my nose and into the underbrush.

I was on my feet before I knew it. I couldn't move any further. I was frozen. Spring breezes still tugged branches, grass still rustled with the songs of insects, but I couldn't move. What was that? It was a predator, every part of my being was screaming that fact loud and clear, but beyond that… what _was_ it?

A loud CLANG! rang out and broke me from my trance. Bethany had wedged her head in the entrance to her nest, flat top an impenetrable wall against anything not armed with a jackhammer or flamethrower. I'd never seen her scared, much less _defensive_. She was the apex predator in these woods. Not even alligators would mess with someone who's head was made of metal.

A twig snapped. I turned to face the creature and stood very. very. still.

The creature exited from the other side of the woods. It was chewing something. Aww… he'd been such a neat little spider. At least this new critter got a snack. And speaking of this new critter, Crikey! It was _beautiful!_

Body like a tiger, all muscle and grace. Tail thick and powerful, easily able to break bones if my experiences with crocodile tails were any indication. Gorgeous black and red markings, a fiery red mane, not a stealth hunter. And that face. Or, more impressively, those horns. Like twisted tree roots ending in spears, oh that's wonderful.

I stood there, frozen this time not just in primal fear of a predator, but awe as well.

It nodded, swallowing the remnants of the spider. It licked its lips revealing a startlingly blue tongue. A loud yawn echoed through the clearing and it sat with a thump. A dagger of a claw began picking out bits of carapace stuck between its teeth.

A display of preening behavior… it _knew_ nothing in the area could challenge it. It was completely comfortable sitting out in the open, right next to the burrow of a nesting waniguchi, picking its teeth. This guy was the top of the food chain, and there I was only a few yards away. No rope, no backup, all I had was my mind, a notebook, and hope. Hope for what, you might ask?

Hope this guy was a _special_ one.

I took a slow step back and the creature _blurred._

A paw the size of my face pinned me with ease. I twisted, futilely trying to squirm free of the iron grip it had on me. I was nose to hooked-nose with this thing.

It's gold and black eyes bore into mine. No, not "its," "his." I could recognize the "What the hell do you think you're doing?" look anywhere. Close as I was, I couldn't help but notice he had two sets of teeth. A sharp outer set growing right out of the epidermis, and an inner, uncannily human set behind those.

A long blue tongue flashed twice. He was curious. I went limp under his paw. Upon closer inspection his front paws were more like hands. He sat back, "hand" lifting from my chest. I sat up. He cocked his head at me. In that moment I knew I'd be okay. He wasn't going to hurt me.

I opened my notebook. Looks like we've got a new entry.

* * *

It was Steve Irwin


End file.
